My Manager Made Me Doubt My Own Mind

Illustrative story. Names and details are changed. This is a composite written to reflect common experiences, not an account from a specific customer.

I almost didn't share this story because I was worried people would think I'm weak or dramatic. But that's exactly the problem — I spent 18 months telling myself the same thing.

My manager was skilled at what I now know to call gaslighting. In team meetings, she'd credit my ideas. In one-on-ones, she'd tell me I wasn't ready for leadership. She'd change what she'd said without acknowledging it. I started keeping notes just to check my own memory.

I found friendyouneed late one night when I was sitting on my bathroom floor crying and didn't want to call my mum because she'd panic. I just needed someone to talk to who wasn't inside my situation.

Before I booked, I read carefully about privacy. No recording. No stored content. Just a conversation that stays between me and my listener. That was the condition I needed.

My listener asked me something nobody had ever asked: "When did you stop trusting your own perception?" I sat with that for a long moment. And then I talked for forty minutes without stopping.

I'm not at that company anymore. I left six weeks after that first session — not because my listener told me to, but because I'd finally said everything out loud and could see it clearly. I needed to hear my own voice say it to know it was true.

I now have a job I actually like. My confidence is coming back slowly. And I know that if I'd kept carrying that alone, I'd still be sitting on bathroom floors wondering what was wrong with me.